Doing what You Love is not Overated

Written the week before I graduated with my Bachelors in English Literature and Creative Writing, after 6 years of working towards a degree as a single mother. Time to heed these words. Look out, and see the dream.

If you have ever held back on working towards something you love because of fear, not having confidence, because someone tells you that's not the best direction, or because you worry about security. I just want to say,

Do it!

Carpe Diem, isn't it?

I say this because I started going to school for nursing, which was not me. The fact that there would be better job options is why I did it, I felt I needed to do something in way of progress. I felt miserable in school. Eager students would sit around and talk about how much they've always wanted to be a nurse, doctor etc. and that just left me feeling out of the circle and I didn't understand it. When I made the decision to put my foot down and force myself in the direction that has always called to me but was always scared to do, everything changed. Many responses to my aspiring towards a degree in English Literature and Minor in Creative writing were something to the effect of, '...but what will you do with it?'

I'll tell you:

I may never be a novelist or distinguished writer. I may never make a pretty penny on published work; but I will have learned tools to do what I love, even if it’s from behind a lit up computer screen in the wee hours of the night. I will have more confidence to do what awakens the core of who I am as a person. That ability to grow in myself is irreplaceable. It's not really about the career alone, it’s about surrounding yourself with people and things you love. I cannot speak enough to how special that point is. It makes such a big difference to answer the calling of your heart, regardless of what economic benefit it has or doesn't have. Have you ever heard the saying that when you follow your heart the rest falls into place? Well, that is true. Even if what falls into place is not originally thought they would be.

The people I have met along the way are amazing. We share interests and want to help each other on the road to betterment. There's nothing like walking into a room, listening to people talk and realizing there are other people out there, like me! People who feel the way I do.

I speak mostly to my writing classes. I fell in love with these workshops and am so sad to see them end. It brought back memories of writing when I was young and inspired to be something when I grew up. I never felt that way about previous half-hearted endeavors, just going with the flow or trekking the land of should be. It was when I challenged myself to feed the hunger with the food it wanted, that I became full.

Graduation is next Friday and I’m not sure what the next chapter will be. But I will start back up with the Fiction Fix crew again, who is full of people volunteering for a journal because they love being surrounded by their craft. That will be such a learning experience in itself. There is a group of people who connected in these classes who want to keep in touch and talk about stories, to read and critique each others projects. I see a writers group in the works! I also have endless information now about good books to read, writing groups to follow, resources I would have never known about and people to go to for help when I get stuck.

Though something is ending, it feels like the future ahead is wide open, and possibility is endless. I feel excited to walk into it. I don’t think I would have felt that had I not gone for what I was passionate about. I should note that I have met people of all ages, some much older in life who sat on their desire to try or do for a long time. They were grateful they went for it. I have a hunch that excitement I feel, must be something even more for them. 

"It is never too late to become who you might have been." 

I wanted to share this with folks who feel stuck or may be wondering, what do I do next? Maybe you wanted to be a photographer, artist, editor, engineer, gardener or doctor. I have met people who went for it. They exude a light about their work, and you can tell they do it because they love it.

You don't have to go to school. That may be difficult to manage between time and money constraints. I wouldn't even be close to finishing college at this point if my partner hadn't been so supportive. However, you can pick up that paintbrush, look for interest groups that focus on that thing you love, join events like Riverside Arts Market or Art Walk. Write without fear, submit projects to publishers or local magazines, work with youth, get outside and see nature, advocate your passion, read and research what your drawn to in books or blogs. We should be looking for opportunities to get involved with the things we care about, on a personal level. I speak to myself here too! I think it will teach a lot about ourselves and will give back to those we love, because we will be making time for something that moves us and puts us at our best.

It’s encouraging for people to hear about the happiness, goals and success stories of others, both big or small. I hope you will share yours!

I will leave you one last note. Life and society is full of supposed limitations. Be a rebel...break them.

DIY: Rustic Wedding Makeover

Are you having trouble finding the rustic pieces you envision for your wedding at little cost locally? Well, I have been working on a few projects to spruce up what I can get for cheap.

A friend was kind enough to give me this guest book and pen set from someone she knew. It's the basic white on white wedding stuff you'd see just about everywhere. Instantly though, I knew exactly what I would do to it to make it fit my wedding style. It's not that this style isn't pretty, it was just a little to floofy for me; the white mesh bows with white silk and white lacing. Just not my style, so I changed it up.

Here are some simple fixes to give generic 

wedding accessories a rustic touch.

First I removed the bow and cut off the lacing from around the bottom. With my "good for everything" hot glue gun, I began to glue lines of hemp string along the bottom. I also hot-glued a bit of hemp around the silver at the base of the pen just to hide any shiny bits.

At this point, I still felt it lacked something. I then remembered two hair cloth clips I bought in the girls section at Target (these were not expensive, around 2 bucks) and hot-glued those cloth flowers in place of the bow. Now everything looked much more rustic. But when I placed that white pen back with the silver in the middle, it just through the whole thing off. So what did I do?

More hemp! And more hot glue.

In a matter of 20 minutes, I turned this guest book pen into my own rustic vision.

I feel anyone can do something like this. If you only have the run of the mill Michaels or Joanne's wedding items available and don't want to spend extra money for handmade or unique items, don't fret. Think outside the box and just pick up a few other cheap goodies while in the store.

Don't be afraid to change it to feel like more like you. 

With a little craft-time and imagination, you can transform just about anything to suite your style. Isn't that what designing your wedding is all about? And the best part is you don't have to spend an arm and a leg to do so.

DIY: Rustic Wedding - Groomsmen Flowers on a Budget

If you must know, these were made in under 15 minutes and at little cost. A large roll of hemp was around $5. The baby's breath--well seeing how it comes 3 big bunches for 10 dollars at a local grocery store, and this is merely a pinch of that, we'll just say cheap. The purple flower I pulled from my backyard. How nice to have it that simple!


I have a hot glue gun, so I warmed that bad boy up, cut a bit of string and glued one end in place, then twisted and glued the other end (with just a dab) and viola! This just cut off at least 50 dollars off our florist budget. Since the guys usually aren't too big about flowers anyway, there's no need to go overboard. You could add greenery as well, or herbs. I will be trying out a few different looks but this is the simplicity I like.

As a bonus, you wouldn't even notice that these flowers had been sitting on my fireplace mantle for almost two weeks. So that's another plus to baby's breath, you can make this at least a week before the wedding and before all the craziness and will keep well. It's fairly worry free and for brides coming up on their big day like I am, it's pretty nice to have something that is.

Speech Blunders: Mord Wixups

Ever had a verbal/mental mix up, causing you to sound more like Doc from Snow White than an actual human with intelligent thoughts? 
Doc: "what are you and who are you doing?"


Well your not alone. 

There is a reason I relate to the character Paul Rudd plays in I Love You, Man. He just makes up words and odd sentences, and well, I do that too especially in nervous situations. Which can be, well...awkward.


The other day at my son's T-ball game I made a comment about running murther. Which, was supposed to be either "more" or "further" and that's just what came out. Then while trying to get my daughter to kneel by the tub to wash out excess shampoo, I kept floundering for the right words. They just came out in stutters and rambling non-sense. All I was trying to say was "sit down and put your head over the side of the tub" but it came out as everything but. Something like, "put head under and sit over...bend on sit... sit over... put head down side, under tub..."  Finally I just took her body and showed her what to do. I was done with forming words at the moment.

I've always, always had the problem getting what is in my head to come out of my mouth in the correct manner. Perhaps that is why I enjoy writing. I say its a brain to mouth complex, it just doesn't want to work all the time, so brain to hand...much better. Maybe it's because our mouths are slower than our typing hands these days, who knows!

Thing is, when I try to duplicate a word mix up, it is like a very complex puzzle and much more difficult than saying it correctly. That tells me that the unconsciousness mind is one smart cookie! For instance, when I was a kid, I got mad while playing volleyball with some friends and when I was skipped over for team captain. In a fluster I said, "Hey, it's my turn to be keam taptain!"

Did you know that type of mix up happens often enough that it has a name? Its called a spoonerism. And it baffles my mind every time it happens.

The other thing that happens quite often is thinking of two words to describe something and as speaking, it's as if the mind hasn't really chosen which is best. So it just combines them. These can be pretty funny, or should I say, hilunny. Hilarious + funny? You get it. Here is a list of some interesting combinations I've babbled recently:

"Does your tumach hurt?"  {tummy + stomach} or the opposite,  stummy (one I'm all too familiar with.)
"That's biuge!"  {big + huge}
"Man you'd have to run fuick"  {fast + quick}
"That's faneat!"  {fantastic + great}

And these have a technical name as well: Portmanteau. What is so neat to think about is that this is actually the way a lot of words came about that we use today! 

'Smog' = Smoke/Fog. Though 'foke' may not have worked as well.

Think about it though, it really is quite amazing that our brains have the ability to do the lightning- fast processing of switching letters around in in various forms in the first place, and actually making it an audible creation.

Oh the strange brain. I do believe it has a sense of humor working against us: it's own form of personal entertainment, keeping us on our toes. Regardless, I must say, what fascinating minds we have! 

Or should I say, brinds.

Earth Blog: Water as Space

Last week my Ecocritism class had a conversation about pride and the St. Johns River. Or rather the lack there of. Because of this I made an effort to spend time overlooking the River this week. I went out a number of times and each time had a different experience. First I went to read for a class at Memorial Park on the water in Riverside. I immediately noticed an easier ability to focus. Something about the quiet calm allowed my mind to fully absorb the text. I had to wonder what it was about this space that allowed for my mind to open up, not unlike the space in front of me.

The second time I went out when the last light had fallen. I peered over the edge of a stone pillared railing and what I saw charged a completely different sensation. I saw the water as thick molasses—like a malaise. It turned into something almost terrifying. It felt as though the water would swallow whole me if I fell in. There was something about the smooth, bobbing flow that sparked imagination in me though. Sure, I thought about what it would be like to fall in and swarm in the open darkness of the breathing tide. But I also began to think of images, stories and plots. I began cataloging all the senses I was feeling, how I would describe all the images around the moonlight. It was strange how, instantly, once again my mind had been opened by sense and sight of the open space.

My Photo. In Riverside, Jacksonville FL. St. Johns River

Another occasion, I went out to Stinson Park to let my children play on the playground by the harbor. We originally went to watch the Blue Angels fly over of the river in front of Bettes Park. I even parked on a waterside street in Avondale to stare out over the mass of water. I suppose in some way I was trying to understand it better. I asked myself, how can a river so large just be overlooked? I found that the simplicity of the sun’s rays glittering atop the water or the stark call of a seagull coasting on the wind was incredibly peaceful. Still, I was unable to place what I was feeling specifically . I had to wonder--what if more people went and sat soaking up the St. Johns as if it was character in a book or something with a voice. After all, wasn't that what I was doing? In my own way it was speaking to me.

One thing that remained constant across all the visits to the River was how completely uncluttered I felt.  Not only did my mind feel open but the space was physically around me. There’s a 'space' across water that we don’t get in most places. Even small ponds or wetlands allow for the sky to open up and become taller. It allows for us to see a big picture, not just what is in physically obstructing our views, like houses or trees. There are many beautiful nature scenes but physically, there is not much like the uncluttered panorama’s overlooking outstretched water in our everyday lives.

There is something about open space that gives some sort of mental “time-out” and allows for our minds to escape the distraction that forms all around us in other landscapes or urban settings. According to Nora J. Rubinstein's work , The Psychological Value of Open Space, “Perhaps the dominant expressed rationale for using open space is the need for a place of contemplation and solitude. Many say they seek places set apart physically, or separated from other people, while others seek to simply remove themselves from their daily rituals and need no physical or social separation.”  Water is one of the most open areas we as humans can go to. A place that is nearly impossible to overpopulate by man-made structures. Therefore, it acts as a sort of haven away from 'structure' itself and perhaps even allows the mind to break away from the ‘pressure’ of those structures and all the psychological babel that comes along with it. Open space  tends to “suggests that nature serves to reduce our stress by reducing physiological arousal, and the alternate perspective suggests that stress results from our efforts to deal with 'information overload'. Nature is seen as an effective stress reducer because it provides a kind of 'cognitive quiet', necessitating fewer decisions based on external demands.”

I took a couple photo's to demonstrate how the open river looks in comparison to a landscape that is normally overpopulated with things. In Stinson Park,  I not only took photos in front of me overlooking the water, but also turned around and took photos behind me to show the contrast of open space compared to obstructed space. Even in a beautiful park the land adds a bit of edge and shadow, whereas the open water adds lightness. I highly suggest you go to a open expanse of a water and see how you feel after five minutes just looking our over it. Consider it a therapy of sorts. Let your mind open, wonder and create.

Open space compared to...

limited viewing of landscape

Barnes, M. A. (1994). A Study of the process of emotional healing in outdoor spaces and the concomitant landscape design implications [Unpublished Master's Thesis] (Clare Cooper Marcus, Chair)

Kaplan, R., & Kaplan, S. (1989). The Experience of nature: A Psychological perspective. New York: Cambridge University Press.

Robunstein, Nora J. Ph.D. The Psychological Value of Open Space. Chapter 4 http://www.greatswamp.org/Education/rubinstein.htm. Viewed: November 6, 2011